Holiday Fun Times With The Becker’s: Hail Mary

i have been meaning to record this story for awhile. so, here goes.

My Dear Husband bought the house, in which we currently reside, many years ago – when he was quite the bachelor, and i was still quite the nerdy college student. no, our paths were not to cross for three years more.

well, in that between time, he lived with buddies, using their rent money to pay the mortgage (see, he’s a smarty pants!). and as, boys will do, they tended to lean a wee bit toward the naughty side sometimes.

as the stories have been told, some of his roommates became quite kleptomaniatic after nights spent at the favored watering hole. over time, banners, signage and the like would find their way home. well, i remember hearing a story, early in our courtship, of a snowy night when one of the roommates decided to steal the Mary figurine from a neighbor’s personally crafted wooden Nativity scene.

Oh, those boys.

and Poor Mary!

well, our relationship bloomed, as some tend to do, and all of those roommates eventually found their way out of the house, and I soon found my way in.

and then one day…. about three months after our wedding, i was in the scary basement organizing a little of this and a little of that, and i noticed a white, wooden figure sitting under the stairs.

AJ’s mom is quite a talented artist and has painted yard decorations on plywood to display for the holidays. This item looked like maybe she had made a white ghost figure. i wasn’t so sure. and i didn’t think much more of it at that point.

but then, as the holidays came around in that first year of marriage, we were driving by our neighbor’s and they had their Nativity scene set up. There was a white-painted plywood Angel, a Joseph and even a cradle which could only be holding a 2-dimensional Baby Jesus, i was sure.

I believe i said, “I wonder why they don’t have Mary out there.”

and that’s when AJ reminded me of the story.

and slowly.


the pieces were coming together in my brain.

We had Mary held captive in our basement!

oh, the horrors!

Santa would surely place us at the top of his Naughty List!

for the next year, i made many mental notes to return Mary. but how? should i walk it over and knock on the door? I could introduce myself and hand over the Mother of Jesus… but then what do you say? “Hi, nice to meet you. Here’s Mary.”

should i just chalk it up to crazy boys?

do i say i “found” it?

oh, what was a girl to do?

one full trip around the sun, and we are back to the Holidays and a Mary-less Nativity Scene in the neighbor’s yard. (you have to hand it to them, they didn’t give up on the whole “Holy Night” depiction – even if it was incomplete.)

one of the former roommates was visiting — though, not the Kelpto, and somehow, we came back to the subject of Holy Mary hiding in our basement.

with enough liquid courage flowing within the group, Mary was rescued from the damp and dingy depths of her captors, and was being walked the two blocks “home”.

with a few whispers of, “You do it!”, “No, You do it!”… someone quickly took Mary on to the porch and then we all ran home – hoping not to slip on the icy sidewalks.

within a few days, i was proud to see Mary reunited with her son (The Son of Man, as some might say), Carpenter Husband and On-looking Angel.

However, this time, all players we no longer displayed in the yard… they were bolted to the porch railing.

…oy vey.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, Dear Reader!

and now for your YouTube enjoyment:

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