sleep training in T-3 days

well, Baby B is 4.5 months old, and is no where near sleeping through the night.

and why is that everyone’s first question? “Is he a good sleeper?”… well, no. he’s the sweetest kid ever, but he does wake up at least once a night.

now, i understand that if he sleeps 5-ish hours straight, this is a victory, and technically “Through the night”… but he is no where near the 12-hour jags that some of our friend’s babers are blessed with.

lately -it has been more like waking up every two hours.

my first instinct was to feed him. but apparently, he’s not always hungry, and i shouldn’t be doing that… it creates bad habits.

a friend told me about this book:

i own it. and i have read the first three chapters.

but i am no where near ready to start the “sleep training”… mostly because, with the holiday, our schedules will be a bit messed up these next few days… the goal is to start it on Sunday night.

so, last night, i didn’t know exactly what to do.

on the first hand- i had gained some good knowledge from the little i have already read in the book. but, i was not anywhere near prepared to start the training, and i don’t want to start something i can’t stick with — that’s just not fair to my Baby B.

but, then around 7:15, he was rubbing his eyes, and i thought- well, here we go.

so i changed him, rocked him and read Goodnight Moon and Guess How Much I Love You, as per usual, and then tried to lay him down – and let him “put himself to sleep”, as the book suggests.

i just don’t have it in me. i may joke that i am “Dead Inside”… but that was torture.

Baby B was calling for me – and i was trying to stay away so he could teach himself such a powerful skill…. bah!

so what do i do – break completely from what the book says and do everything “wrong”… i.e. =180 degrees from what i had read….

I patted him,

i talked to him,

i stayed in the room longer than 30 seconds,

i eventually picked him up and consoled him,

i gave him a pacifier,

i fed him,

i took him back downstairs in the bright lights…

it was as if my brain said, “Spoil him, mama! This is the calm before the Sleep Training S#!+ Storm!)

and the rest of the night followed suit. he didn’t sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. i had to rock him to sleep, and then when i would put him down, he would wake up and cry.

it was a rough night for both of us.

part of me is scared that i scarred him, and he’s now afraid of being in his crib alone… oh man!

though, i am glad to say, he woke up smiling this morning…. so i didn’t fully break him.

would someone else please come to my house and work with my baby on sleep training? I don’t know if i am cut out for this!

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